Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Family Planning

I will keep this short, because I am supposed to be reading and studying for my board exam right now. I know that I had told some of you that Charlie and I were considering looking into adoption as a way to expand our family. I think we've decided to take the plunge and really start the process. It doesn't mean that we're giving up on having a family the old fashioned way, but adoption can take several years on it's own right, and I'm not getting any younger. Besides, just because we have kids of our own doesn't mean we can't adopt, and just because we adopt doesn't mean we can't have kids of our own later.

I'm just tired of worrying about it. After our last miscarriage, which was especially heart breaking for both Charlie and me, we are definitely open to having kids of our own, but I think we both realize that there is a very real possibility that may not be an option for us. And I'm generally tired of worrying about it, and worrying about how old I'm getting and how many more of these it will take and on and on and on. So we will remain open to having kids of our own, but we have the resources to adopt, and we are going to start looking into it, decide on an agency, and get the process started. I'm tired of waiting for my body to cooperate. It's more recently decided that it would not like to ovulate regularly. Which it has done in the past and which is a very normal thing that many women experience on occasion during their child bearing years. And eventually it will straighten itself out. But I swear if it's not one thing it's another.

I've been praying a lot lately that I will be able to have faith and be able to see what I am supposed to do. And adoption does not make me feel sad or uncomfortable anymore. It used to. And maybe that is not the path, or maybe it is just one step. Sometimes the path God has for you is not the same as you envisioned for yourself. But you have to have faith. And you have to be open to the possibility.

So for now we're looking into things. Hopefully we will be able to decide on an agency soon and get the ball rolling. I know this won't be an easy path either, but I'm excited and I'm hopeful and I'm trying to have faith.

I wonder what Grandma Arling will say if we end up with a little Ethiopian baby? :)


Tammie said...

You have been on my mind almost constantly this month of January. I think about you many times during the day. I miss you, of course, but I love you so much and I pray, sometimes singing the "Ave Maria" as a prayer for you and your sisters. When you pray and surrender yourself to God the way you have, there is limit to the joy that awaits you! There is a book I want you to have, I am going to ask Cynthia about it today and if I can I will send it to you via Amazon.

Your wisdom always astounds me! I just read yesterday that God is creative and orderly, we always want to see the big picture, the long range plan, but we can't, we are given just one day of God's very creative and orderly plan.

It is good that you are open to whatever gift the Universe offers. Your baby is on it's way to you. It needs your love and care as much as you need to love and care for him/her.

Tammie said...

there is no was early..I tried to proof read it..